Yeah!

I really can't picture anyone having a crush on me. I can’t picture someone thinking about me before they fall asleep, or telling their friends about me. I can’t picture anyone getting butterflies because I said hi to them, or even just smiled at them. I can’t picture someone smiling at the computer screen or their cell phones when we’re talking. I mean like…Why would they even do that? I’m just me. Nothing extraordinary, or special.

I think I'm numb..

People may see me as a jolly person. I used to laugh and joke around with them. I am the one who listens to their problems, comfort them when they needed it. But me I used to keep my problems by myself cos I don't want to be a burden to them. They do not know that I'm also fighting a battle. You know deep in you, you have problems of your own that you need to face but you have to be tough and look as if nothing happened to be able to give strength to people around you. That's the story of my life!

When I'm having conversation with God, I always say that I'm grateful and blessed that He trust me a lot that He gave me struggles to become a much better and stronger individual. Through them, it drives me closer to Him.

God, you know how I feel at this moment. It's hard to cry at night wishing and praying that everything will be alright. I love my Dad. I love my Mom. It hurts to see them struggling and I'm afraid to see them going apart. I know how much my Mom fought to save their marriage. But I think my Dad doesn't appreciate and see all our efforts. But I believe everything happens for a reason.

This kind of problem doesn't happen only in our family. I know many couples are encountering also this kind of dilemma. I entrust everything to you God. I know your plans are greater than ours. Better days will come soon! :)

Nobody knows it but me!

Nobody knows how many times I've faked a smile, how many times I've cried, how many times I've been hurt. Nobody knows how many times I've had to hold back my tears, how many times I've been let down, how many times I've been walked out on. Nobody knows how many times I've felt like falling apart but I keep it together for those around me, how many times I've been kicked when I was down, how many times I scream. Nobody knows how many times I've forgotten how it feels to be happy, or how long I've been waiting for things to get better. Sometimes I wonder who knows the difference between how I pretend I feel and how I truly feel.

Valentines?? Pagkain ba yun???

Hahahahaha... As in natawa ko sa likepage na yan sa FB.. "Valentines?? Pagkain ba yun???"

Shocks! Feb 14.. Always Alone ang emote ko! I'm looking forward for the day that I will celebrate Valentine's Day with my special someone! Hindi naman siguro naiirita sakin si Lord.. Every time that I pray lagi ko pinagdadasal na sana dumating na sya.. Kamusta 24 na aketch going 25! Sana ibigay na ni Lord.. para age 28 papakasal na ko! Charot! Joke lang! Excited ka teh??? hahahaha..

Basta darating din yan.. Chill lang muna ako.. :) I let God be the author of my Love Story.. cos I know he's preparing the BEST for me! pak! Bongga yun!

Thank you Lord!

Thank you Lord for the good news I received last Saturday! I waited for it for months and I finally got response from the Canadian Embassy that I am now entitled to take the SPEAK test exam and if I passed it (I will!), next is the medical and then Visa!

I hope to see Canada this year!!!

Lord thank you for the good things that is happening in my life now. You're so awesome!

Things I want to accomplish this year 2011

So here I made a list of things I want to have, do and accomplish this year!


- Buy new phone.
- Go out of town- somewhere far from the metro!
- Have a vacation out of the country.
- Learn to cook.
- Find a new job!
- Hopefully, my papers for Canada be released so I can finally go and work there!
- Fall in love! hahaha.. Praying to meet that someone this year! :P
- Save more money!

When loneliness strikes me...

There are days that I try to laugh with people but you know that deep inside me, I'm shattered into pieces. To be honest, I'm really happy naman with my life. No regrets or whatsoever. I'm blessed that I have what I have right now. But there are times especially that when you're surrounded with people who are so happy because they have their someone special beside them. You're acting like it's okay but in your mind you're thinking you want to have that someone also beside you.

wapaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkk! ang emo na naman!

Lapit na kasi Valentine's eh.. and for my 24 years of existence never pa ko lumabas and nakipagdate sa araw na 'to! hahahaha... Hopeless romantic talaga ang emote eh noh! hahahaha.. But I know someday (lapit na) magkakaron na din ako kadate pag Valentine's and I will be the luckiest, happiest, most loved girl pag nangyari yun! chos!

Dear Lord, sana ibigay nyo na po sya.. Ayaw ko naman pong tumandang dalaga!!! hahahahaha... :)